**This post was originally for a friends online magazine, so when I address the audience as slackers, it is for that context**
In an age of social media it isn’t surprising that if you don’t go out every weekend to the bars, you may be turning to the internet to find dating perspectives. We have all seen those great commercials that show just how happy people can be with dating websites, what they are failing to talk about are the horrendous dates and messages you will get along with the maybe 4% chance you will find someone who doesn’t make your skin crawl.
I want to be candid with you and tell you exactly what online dating has been for me, I wont hold back because well that is what a big sister figure is supposed to do, try things and then tell you what’s up! The only thing I am going to be changing in these stories are the names of the dudes. Now we have all seen the buzzfeed articles of the horror stories of tinder and ok cupid messages, I’ve had my share of those as well but I’m not talking about the “I’ll pay you to sleep with me” messages. I am talking about the uncomfortable dates, the excitement when you find someone and then you figure out what secrets they are hiding, and the let down of thinking you hit it off with someone, but really they aren’t that into you.
I have had a dating profile for a little over a year now, I started out seriously terrified that if I went on a date with someone I would end up dying in some parking lot because I watch too many lifetime movies. When I finally decided to grab a drink with Blake I was super nervous and a little weary, I mean we connected on pretty much everything we talked about. From music taste, to political stances we were in agreement. We met up for a drink and ended up talking for over 4 hours, it was awesome. He was polite and attempted to laugh at my awful jokes and it just seemed to go well. Now in my crazy girl brain I totally thought I blew it when we said goodbye because he was so much taller than I was, that I went straight in for a side hug so I didn’t end up with my face buried in his bellybutton. Now Blake is an artist type, musician and very free spirit. I wasn’t expecting much but when two weeks went by and I didn’t hear back from him I just assumed that he had no desire to see me again and hey, I was cool with that. But he texted and said that he really loved talking to me but some things in his life has just made it weird. If anyone knows what that means please tell me.
After the weirdness of that first experience I was extra skeptical of going on a date with Sebastian but I swallowed my nervousness and put on my big girl pants and said “why not!” Well why not was because in that hour and a half date I was asked half way through my beer if I just wanted to go back to his house and have a beer. No, I was having a beer right now, what am I, a two beer floosie? This was after he told me that one of his hobbies was making hip hop music in his garage. I was pretty positive that if I went back to his house I was going to end up in a hole putting lotion on my skin. I just wanted to finish this beer and run to my best friends house to feel safe again. He walked me to my car and I could tell that he was going in for that goodnight kiss, which I seriously avoided and gave him that cursed side hug. He thankfully got that hint and we haven’t spoken since.
If I was a smart person I should have just called it quits but nope, I jumped back on that dang dating horse again! Luke was awesome and we ended up hitting it off, our first date was sweet and exactly what I needed to build my confidence up. He was a gentleman and waited to kiss me till after our second date. Things finally were working out slackers! We had a blissful month of cute couple things, the first night I spent at his house we stayed up far too late because he was making shadow puppets with his hands on the ceiling. One night when we were all snuggled up he said “I need to tell you something” I didn’t think anything of it and just waited for Luke to elaborate more. “I have a drug addiction, I’ve been clean for years and actually don’t drink or do anything that alters my body” Ok, I can deal with a pill or cocaine addiction. “I hit bottom when the police found my pot in my car and I got a ticket for possession” Well there goes Luke ever meeting my wonderful hippie parents, or a few of my friends. We ended shortly after that, not specifically because of that, but because it just wasn’t working.
Luke and I ended around Christmas time and I took a little time before reactivating my profile because not only was it the holidays but because I was a little bummed out that things didn’t work out between us. This brings us to the most recent date, the one that made me say “I need to write this down because I feel like a cautionary tale of dating” Matt seemed nice, and we were talking for a while so we decided to grab a drink this past Saturday. Slackers, I have never been so bored talking to someone in my whole 25 years on this earth. He answered my questions with one word or sometimes even just a chuckle and we talked about the weather not once, not twice, but three times in our painfully long 50 min. meet up. He is older than I am and still goes out and drinks quite a bit. I am hoping he gains a personality when he drinks, and that is what his friends see.
Even with all of this said, I will still put myself out there and look for that diamond in the rough. Because after meeting with all of these frogs, I am bound to find at least some form of royalty, even if he ends up not being my prince. I’ve gotten some wine and coffee out of these experiences and some great anecdotes. My self esteem has been bruised at times, but that’s okay because I am pretty badass and wont let some boy get me down. As one of my closest guy friends (who happens to be my best friends husband) says to me “I am the catchiest of the catches, and someone will see that” So until I find myself a fella, with or without a purple umbrella, I will just continue to laugh and go along for the weird ride that is dating in a digital society.
No comments:
Post a Comment